


Play the Game, Sweetheart

by Finality2020



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Bobby stans turn back now. This is your warning, Gratuitous Smut, Not the baker boy you thought you knew, Player Bobby, Shameless Smut, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finality2020/pseuds/Finality2020
Summary: If you sometimes have wondered about the player tweet about Bobby in the Twitter challenge, if you've ever wondered at how nice, sweetheart, non-confrontational Bobby was a part of a punk band, even with punk being defined as an "aggressive form of rock music...often politicized and full of vital energy beneath a sarcastic, hostile facade", or if you've ever found his participation and behavior in Operation Nope suspect, this -may- be the story for you.
Relationships: Bobby & Jonno, Bobby McKenzie/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 109
Kudos: 47





	1. Having Nothing, Nothing Can He Lose (Shakespeare)

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING** If you are addicted to the idea of Bobby McKenzie as a cheerful cupcake who floats through life sprinkling his kindness and goodness on all who surround him, this is -not- the story for you. If you have Bobby on a pedestal of goodness, this is -not- the story for you. 
> 
> Fair warning: You might not like this Bobby. But, this Bobby probably won't like you either ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Villa...by a few months.
> 
> (I would have written the entire chapter in Scots/Glasgow speak but it would have been too difficult LOL)

As the commercial break began, Bobby McKenzie stared at the toes of black combat boots. They were his favorite pair, he'd owned them since he was fifteen years old and figuring out how best to start a band. The scuff marks mixed with the hole mark in the toe of the right boot. That came from a fight in an alley behind some dingy, shite club after a show when he was twenty. He'd knocked one of the hurdie gob-shites to the ground, and the bastard had taken the knife in his hand and chibbed the toe of Bobby's boot with it. It'd made him heavy ragin', he wasn't ashamed to admit. He'd kicked him in the head with his other boot and then he and Jonno had bolted as quick as maybee aye down the alley. He'd kept them though. Even after he'd given up trying to get the band to make enough money that a full time job wasn't necessary and gone to work at the hospital with Jonno, and could have afforded a new pair. They reminded him of who he was.

Jonno heaved himself out of his ratty armchair, it was a disgusting beast, the chair, not Jonno. It had been new decades before either of them were born. The tweed upholstery on it was torn in more than one place, with stuffing poking out. Bobby eyed it a moment, noting as he had before that it has definitely seemed to meld to Jonno's large frame over the last eight years since they'd found it on the side of the road. The chains hanging out of Jonno's pocket, attaching his wallet to a belt loop jangled as he stretched his arms over his head. 

"Wid ye lik' anither swally, McKenzie?" he asked over his shoulder as he started the approximately ten steps to take him to their little kitchenette. 

"Na, a've hud enough o' that jobby heavy th' nicht". Bobby muttered back as he pulled out a cigarette and lit up. Inhaling the first drag deep, his first cigarette in a few hours, he was trying to cut back to save a few quid, he scanned the table for an ashtray. Rolling his eyes that none could be seen, he drained most of his beer left in the can and tapped his ash into it. He swung his boots onto the pock-marked coffee table that they'd also rescued from the curb. 

Jonno came back carrying a new can of beer, flopped himself down in his chair and opened it before swallowing half of it in one drink. He opened his mouth, and what Bobby called a "Jonno belch" came ripping out. 

"Ugh, Jonno, that's so mockit'" Bobby flipped Jonno the bird. Jonno just grinned back at him. 

The commercial break was going on forever. It was always this way during the Love Island final, they knew everyone was tuning in to find out who was going to be the lucky couple to win and see if someone, for the first time ever, would choose to keep the entire 50,000 cash prize. No one had yet. To be fair, everyone would hate the fuck out of them, so Bobby could understand why. Most people cared way too much what other randoms thought of them. The money this season was on the couple that had been together since like day 3, with the guy being some way down there celebrity (D-list?) who happened to have a famous brother and his bird, some influencer cutie. Really, though, made sense, none of the other couples had been together that long. In fact, one of them had just been together a bit over a week. The guy came in right before the end. Lucky bastard managed to get with the one single girl left. Jonno had ten pounds riding on the fan favorite couple. Bobby wasn't so sure. While most of the time, if you studied people they were pretty predictable, when you left it to the voting of the masses, anything could happen. Bobby could predict who was going to be voted out when it was an islander vote 99% of the time, but the public ones sometimes surprised even him. 

The show's theme music began playing, signifying it was back from commercial break. Bobby took one last drag off his cigarette, dropping it into the dregs of beer left in his can, swirling to make sure the liquid put it out. Setting the can next to the five empties already in front of him, he leaned back. Jonno leaned forward. This was it, the decision time between the two remaining couples. A few minutes later when the day three couple were announced as runners up, Jonno mashed the remote button off and threw the remote. It skittered to a stop a foot from the wall. 

"Whit' the bugger!" Jonno yelled. "That wee bas! A few days graft in th' sun and 'e swaggered off wit' 25,000 pounds! Noo a'm oot ten pounds!" Jonno pounded a meaty fist into the arm of the chair, ignoring the small dust cloud that erupted. 

"Och, yer arse. He wis jammy, hookin' up with a fan favorite like that. She carried him ower th' finish line." Bobby leaned his head back against the couch. He actually had a little admiration for that Irish bas. He came in and wooed the girl by being everything her prior partner wasn't. He got a free vacation, 25000 pounds and now probably some sweet advertising deal. 

Jonno looked over at Bobby. Bobby groaned inwardly. Jonno was wearing his "I got an idea" face. They weren't usually good. 

"Ye cuid dae it. Ye'r a guid keekin bas wha doesn't gie a bugger wha likes ye 'n' is braw playing fowk." Jonno tapped his finger against his nose. It was their way of indicating to the other one to go along with the ruse, or that the things they're saying weren't true. Over the years, it'd come to mean all kinds of things.

"Ach, dinnae be a bampot." he answered Jonno automatically. But the seed had been planted. Jonno was right. He didn't really give a fuck what people thought of him, and had no issue using his smarts to manipulate people to do what he wanted. In fact, he secretly loved it. He loved pulling strings and watching people act like wind-up dolls with no brains of their own. Of course, they always thought they were thinking, but seriously? You could easily push a person in a direction if you just figured out what they wanted and gave it to them. 

"Oi, c'moan, it'd be amazing peepin' ye a' summer speil they idiots 'n' donder awa' rich. We cuid shift up in th' world 'n' oot o' 'ere" Jonno's voice had gone low, like it always did when he was discussing a new plan, and he waved his hand around their dingy flat. Bobby grimaced. Even with the two of their salaries combined, hospital kitchen work didn't pay well enough to pay bills on a nicer place.

"Movin' fae this shithole wid be amazin'" Bobby said. 

Jonno smirked at him, "You'd be able tae git yer wee boaby drookit oan ilka day o'th' week. Girls wid be falling a' ower themselves tae git wi' ye."

Bobby laughed, "Ye daffie, ye ken that ah awready git whit a'm waantin' when ah want it."

Jonno rolled his eyes, but nodded in acknowledgment. Bobby hadn't had any issue getting a girl in bed with him since he was about fourteen. He just figured out the best approach to use when he wanted to do it and went for it. Rarely did he fail, and rarely did he go back for seconds. 

"Ye'r an' a' a genius wha haes read juist aboot ilka book oot thare. Gang oan, blether lik' a posh body." Jonno goaded, he sometimes enjoyed hearing this happen.

Bobby raised his eyebrows, "Why, Jonno mate, I'm not sure what you're on about. Anyone can speak in proper Queen's English. You could also open a book from time to time."

Jonno raised his can of beer in a mock salute, before draining it. "Nah, that's yer thing. A'm content tae bask in yer shadow." He belched again and looked at Bobby closely, his eyes narrowed and a thoughtful expression on his face. "A'm serious though, ye shuid dae it. You'd win it, na kinch."

"Quit nipping me, ah will think aboot it. A'm aff tae kip noo though, 5 a.m. comes earlie." Bobby swung his legs down and stood up from the couch, stretching his arms up, so that his old Paisley Cuddle t-shirt rode up. Jonno looked at him, assessing him from head to toe. 

"Lest thing, ye'r an' a' guid keekin enough fur that shaw." Jonno concluded, nodding his head at his assessment of Bobby's appearance. 

"Awa' wit' ye, ye bufter." He started walking down the hall, Jonno's guffawing laughter pushing at his back. He wasn't going to admit right now that he was intrigued by Jonno's assessment he could win it. He had to think about it first. But, it may solve a lot of his problems. And, would also be a fucking blast.


	2. Look like th' innocent flower, But be the serpent under ’t.--Lady Macbeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still pre-Villa...but getting close!

Bobby had done it. After examining all the angles, he'd decided Jonno was right. If he could survive both the Islanders' votes and the public votes, he'd be in with a shot of winning Love Island and walking away at least 25,000 pounds richer right away. That didn't take into account all the appearances et cetera he could get paid for. So, he'd applied. After going through the exhaustive interviewing process once his application was selected, he'd done it. He was going to be one of the original Islanders.

He'd already been sequestered in a hotel room in Majorca for three days. He had a minder, to make sure he didn't contact the outside world or try to bump into any of the other Islanders that were also sequestered about. He didn't mind that much. They'd granted him the one request he had for staying both in the hotel and in the Villa for however long he lasted (until the end, of course, but he couldn't say that to the producers) with no outside contact. Though, his condition had caveats on it for once he entered the Villa. He could live with that as well.

Currently, he was kicked back on the bed in his room. His hands were clasped behind his head and he was staring at the ceiling. His minder, a production assistant named Ginny, was hot. She was tall, with long legs but her hips and ass curved in just the way Bobby really appreciated. She usually had her black curls pushed up in a messy bun on top of her head. Bobby decided he wanted her. He had four days left in this isolation chamber, with just the filming of his introduction bits left. There'd be a bit of a challenge, as he was sure there were rules for the production assistants about this. He contemplated the best approach to get her, sighing when he realized the best method would have to be on day 6. Ach, well, guess he'd at least go in on his first day relaxed. He could start laying the groundwork now though.

A knock sounded on his door, as Ginny began opening it, her head appearing around the corner.

"Bobby, you decent?"

He smirked to himself. If she was really worried about that, she'd have waited before entering the room.

"Aye, lass. Just laying here, waiting on ye." He'd decided to keep a bit of the Scottish in his accent. Women from outside of Scotland loved it. But, they also preferred understanding the man talking, so he was going with just a slight hint of it.

"Right. Well, it's your time for filming the intro interview bits. Do you remember what they told you about it?"

"Yeh, of course. They're going to be throwing up some mad images from my socials behind me, while they ask me questions about myself. I've got this, I'll make you look good, darling." He sat up as she entered further into the room, dropping her a wink on the last part of her comment. When her cheeks colored a little, he thought to himself how good she'd look in a couple days with her lips wrapped around his cock. Jumping up off the bed, he timed it so that he was within a few centimeters of her as she walked closer. She hitched in a breath and stepped back a little, wobbling from the surprise of his landing. He grabbed her elbow to steady her.

"Sorry there. I'm a clumsy ijit sometimes. I didn't realize I'd land so close to you." He let his hand linger on her arm. "I may also be a wee bit worried about the interview. I'm worried I'll come off as some asshole."

"Oh Bobby, you shouldn't worry! The producers so far have loved your personality. They think you're going to bring such life to the Villa this summer. Just be the funny guy you have already been. It'll be fine."

He squeezed her arm, where he still held it.

"Thanks. I think I needed to hear that." he grinned at her, lowering his eyes. "Ye know, Ginny, if the women they put in the Villa are even half as hot as you, I may be in a wee bit of trouble." he held his fingertips a centimeter apart. "You're a jalapeno popper."

She burst out laughing. "There, that's you, food compliments and clumsiness. It's adorable."

He laughed a little, still holding onto her arm, before staring her directly in the eyes. She paused, subconsciously licking her bottom lip. He smiled, releasing her arm.

"Ginny, woman, ye are the best. I'm not even nervous anymore." Bobby grinned again. He'd never been nervous, it's just what she would expect him to say and hey, it got his hands on her.

"Alright then, let's get going shall we?" she said after a little cough, looking back down at her tablet.

"Lead the way, I'll happily follow."

She began walking, looking over her shoulder for a second.

"Oh I'm sure you will."

"Ach no, not like that..." he allowed his voice to trail off in embarrassment.

She giggled at his being flustered, before turning back around and heading out the door. Bobby stared at her ass as they left the room. He imagined for a moment ripping down those tight black work trousers she had on, shoving whatever panties she had on to the side and shoving into her, resting his hands on her ass checks to brace himself. Shaking his head, he thought of Jonno belching. It was a go to to calm down any physical reaction to a woman he had.

Bobby rolled his eyes to himself when he realized they were just going to some big conference room in the hotel. He'd been hoping to be able to see a bit of the area around him, maybe even spot someone that also looked like they might be an Islander. Figures that they would keep the odds of that happening nonexistent. Bobby entered the room, purposefully stumbling just a little over a bulge in the carpet on the floor. Regaining his balance, he did ta-da hands. "Whoops! Ignore me and my two left feet guys." The few people in the room waiting to film and interview him chuckled appreciatively.

Bobby was fully aware why they liked him. Every season of Love Island seemed to need an "unlucky in love" contestant. They were betting on him being that one. He'd not decided yet if he was going to go that route though. But, hey, no harm in them thinking he would.

He sat down on the stool they indicated. They began playing pictures from his Instagram and his Tiktok accounts behind him. Bobby looked at the pictures. He and Jonno had done a fantastic job recreating his socials. He'd begun by starting new ones. He'd deleted his old ones, which were under fake names anyway. He'd ditched the black nail polish, the nose and lip rings. He'd bought some trainers and ditched the black boots. His leather jacket and flannels were shoved in the closet. He and Jonno and gone around Glasgow and the surrounding country side, taking pictures of everything from him huddled under a doorway at a club in a downpour, to him raising his arms on a beach during sunset. They'd taken pictures of him eating fish and chips, eating a huge cupcake from a bakery. They'd made sure to play up some of the baked goods ones. Bobby had always loved to cook, but baking wasn't his favorite. But, everyone loves sweets, so he played up his baking ability on the application and on his socials. They'd filmed him in the kitchen of some fling of Jonno's, mixing up a batch of cookies. They'd even found some kids one day playing football and Bobby had joined in kicking the ball back and forth. He fucking hated football, but, image. He'd made sure to trip a couple times on the video too. When that part of the video played up on the screen behind him, he winced and acted like he was embarrassed.

"So. Tell us your name and age and where you're from." the tall, skinny, older woman said in a posh London accent. Her name was Lillith, and she was one of the executive producers.

"The name is Bobby McKenzie. I'm 26 years old. And ah'm from Glasgow, a weegie born and bred, aye?" He laughed in a self-deprecating way after stating that.

"Tell us about yourself. Where do you work? What do you like to do?"

"Well, I work in a hospital, in the kitchens. It's really my first love, baking. I love coming up with new ways to serve old desserts. It's about having a vision and figuring out how to get there, aye? No matter where the kitchen" he nodded at the picture of himself in Jonno's fling's kitchen, "I can't seem to resist making something, whether it's to just feed hungry people or to help cheer up someone who's sad." Lie. He grinned at the end of his sentence, and could see the production staff scattered through the room. Sold it.

"Tell us something unique about yourself."

"Weeel, I speak five languages. English, German, Gaelic, Jamaican Patois, and of course, Weegie, in Glasgow we almost have our own language. It's why all of you sassenach lowlanders hate visiting us, aye?" he winked at Ginny where she stood off to the side, noting with smugness the blush that crept up her neck. Lillith chuckled a bit. Truth.

"How did you learn all of those languages?"

"The Jamaican patois comes from me Dad, he constantly was yelling at us bairns when we were young. And we would go see my grandma and family when I was a kid." Truth. And lie. "The English, well, school and my mam, of course." Truth. "The Gaelic I went through a phase in my early teens where I wanted to connect with my mam's heritage and also have a way to speak to my friends without most people knowing what we were saying." Lie and truth. "So, I taught myself the Gaelic and then dragged along my classmates into learning it." Truth. "The German, well, that came about partly due to family friends. I had to learn to keep up with them." Lie and truth. "And, well, the Weegie, I could nae help it, eh?" he grinned wide.

"Why are you on Love Island?"

"Ach, I've had a problem for years. I only see the lasses as friends, you see? I'm hoping on Love Island, I may get a chance to find one who shines, and breaks my habit of friendzoning every woman I meet." Lie. He had one person he considered a friend in his life. But, sounded better than 'I only like to fuck women and then go, because they frankly bore the shite out of me.'

"Why do you think you do that?" "My mam raised me to treat women with respect. I think sometimes, I'm so scared of hurting a woman, I'd rather be there for her as her friend. So, it's hard to see beyond that." Lie.

"What are you looking for out of a woman?" "I like a lass who can laugh at herself. I love redheads, but I'm not overly particular about exactly how they look. Curvy. But, mainly, I want a woman I can imagine in my kitchen, in my bed, and in my arms, 24/7. And, I'm a picky man about who I let into those places." Mostly truth. If he was actually looking and thought there was any woman out there that he could find that wouldn't bore him within half a hour other than whatever he decided he wanted from their bodies.

"What do you hope for out of your Love Island experience?"

"If I walk out of the villa doors at any point and can say that I've made some great friends, touched some hearts, and maybe, just maybe found a woman I could imagine bringing home to my family, I'd consider myself the winner of this season of Love Island." he knew the smile on his face was a little humble, a little sad, and a lot hopeful. He'd practiced it in his mirror the last few days while Ginny was out of the room. He brought his finger up and tapped his nose, knowing Jonno would love it. "And if I can have some great bants while in there, then all the better, eh?"

"Tell us about an embarrassing moment for you with a woman."

"Ah well. I don't remember me first kiss. I was at a party with this girl. We'd been hanging out as friends for a few weeks by then. Apparently, she had a thing for me, but eh, back then I didn't think any girl could like," he waved his hand over himself, "and we were drinking a fair bit. She went for it." I didn't know about it until she told me the next day. I felt like a right ijit." Lie. All of it.

"You've talked about your family. Is family important to you?"

"Absolutely. There's nothing better than being around the people that have known you for your whole life. I have the best little sister, she's about ten years younger than me, and she is my rock and the reason for anything good I do in my life." Lie. And truth, so, so much truth in the last part of his statement.

"Okay, Bobby, now we want to get some shots of you laughing, grinning, smiling, you know, all of that stuff." Lillith waved her fingers. After getting some shots of him doing all of those things, they filmed him in chef's whites, in a set resembling a kitchen, getting a text and tearing off his apron and bouncing out the door, his fists in the air like he was fecking Rocky Balboa. Bobby went along with all of it, laughing and cracking jokes. He was gratified to see that Ginny was following his every movement, even when it didn't seem necessary for her to be doing it.

They finally finished up and Ginny walked him back to his room.

"Bobby! You were brilliant." she gushed a little.

"Ye're sweet for saying so. I hope I didn't come across too clownish." he worried his bottom lip through his teeth, looking in her eyes. Lie.

She reached out a hand, clasping him above his elbow, her fingertips lightly stroking the back of his arm.

"No, you were absolutely perfect. You're lining up to definitely be a fan favorite for the season, if my instincts are right."

"I'll trust you. You seem a lass with some dead on instincts." he wiggled his eyebrows at her before putting on a goofy grin.

She threw her head back and laughed, harder than Bobby thought that comment seemed to warrant, but, he smiled inwardly, it did mean it would be easier in a couple days.

After Ginny left him in his room, he threw himself on the bed, staring at the ceiling. So far, everything was going right to the plan he and Jonno had devised. He just hoped once he was in the Villa, it would keep going. He was confident in his ability but what if the jokester persona was dead against what every woman in there wanted? He shook his head at himself. He'd rarely doubted his actions since he was seventeen. He wasn't going to start now, not over something as asinine as other people liking him. When he was done, they'd love him.

The next couple of days passed in a haze of boredom, work-outs (also boring but necessary for both the extra pump it would give him going into the villa, but also for the future gym chats he'd be able to have), a couple of books he'd been meaning to get read, and flirting with Ginny without taking it too far. Finally, it was his last night in isolation, and Ginny had offered to share a meal with him to give him some general tips and things. They sat on his bed, eating takeaway from the cartons. He did a couple of impressions of actors from movies that had recently come out and had Ginny howling with laughter.She then gave him a few hints about what was to come tomorrow. It was stuff Bobby had already heard or figured out from reading the rules book they gave him at the beginning of the week. But, he didn't interrupt her. One never knew when something would come in useful. And then, she did it, she gave him something he could use later.

"Also, the cameras and mic packs are down for about two hours every night to recharge and also just because at that time, typically all of you are sleeping and it's dead boring."

Bobby smoothed the blanket with his fingertips, looking down for a moment, with barely a nod. He didn't want her to know she'd given him something really useful to know. He had an idea then.

"So, the rule book says when we want a smoke, we must go to the smoking room, right? What's that room look like? I'm hoping to be able to full on kick this nasty habit while in there but I'm sure I'll need to use it some time."

"Oh, it's tiny, barely more than like a half bath sized room. They only want one of you in there at a time so they've purposefully made it small. But they did put a couple of comfortable chairs in there so it's not like sneaking a smoke in some broom closet."

Bobby threw himself back on the bed with a groan.

"And the one rule that's such a killer for the lads."

Ginny laughed. "That's right, no masturbation while in there. But, hey, maybe you'll be able to use that pent up frustration in a bed with a girl."

He rolled to his side and propped his head up on his hand.

"Ach, I don't know about that. I mean," he waved his hand down his body, "I'm likely to be the scrawniest one in there. There'll be a couple strong blokes that all the women flock to." Ginny laid her hand on his leg, where it stretched near her.

"Don't say that! Maybe on the first day, but you'll see, after a bit in here, personalities end up meaning way more than the bodies. You'll be with each other all day and all night for ages. Being warm-hearted and funny, you'll end up getting lucky. I know it." Her hand inched a little further on his leg.

He groaned. "Look at me, greetin' like a wee bairn about my looks. I'm just a bundle of nerves." He looked up at her from where his head laid on the pillow. She was staring down at him, a thoughtful look on her face. He went on. "I know there's probably rules against it and such, but, ach, never mind. I dinnae want to get ye in trouble." he let his Scots broaden for a moment. He watched the blush crawl up her cheeks. She was understanding him. Good. Her hand inched a little higher on his leg. He swallowed, his eyes still on her.

"I may be able to help you." she suddenly purred.

"Nay, I'm serious lass, I dinnae want you in trouble."

"Who's going to know? And if this helps your nerves, all the better for me when you go in and kill it in there on day one." She smiled a slow grin. "Besides, you're fit and so, so tempting." her hand tightened a bit on his leg.

"Yeah?" he said, his voice deepening. He pictured how she was going to look in five minutes and felt his cock hardening. He reached down and grabbed her hand where it sat on his leg, sliding it up so that it rested on where he was dying for her lips to be in just a few minutes. He tightened his grip on her hand as he held it there.

She looked up into his eyes, "Well, Bob, if a woman gets her hands on this, you may just end up being the Villa's most wanted."

"Aye? I've received no complaints yet." he winked at her, before sitting up so that their faces were even with one another. He leaned in and found her lips, softly kissing her before he deepened the kiss, his other arm wrapping around her back and tugging her in closer. She was merely an adequate kisser. He hoped she did better when her lips were elsewhere.   
  


She stroked his length through the baggy gym shorts he had on. Then sliding her hand up, she tugged at his waistband with both hands, tugging his shorts down. She broke the kiss to whisper in his ear, “There’s no condom, but I can still get you off.”

He pulled her in just a little closer, wrapping a hand in her hair and kissing her again, sliding his tongue against hers, before breaking the kiss.   
  


“Ah, lass, that would be grand.” He gave her a sweet smile, before gently pushing on her shoulder, his hand tightening just a bit in her hair. She grinned and went down to her knees.   
  


She used her hand to stroke down the length of his cock, her thumb lightly caressing over the head of it.   
  


He groaned. “That feels amazing.” Smiling up at him, she took just the tip of her tongue, tracing where her thumb just had, her hand wrapped now around the base. Then with minimal warning, she took him deep in her mouth. Her technique was so-so, but it would do the trick. He didn’t want to have to get her off too once it was done, but also knew it went against who she thought he was if he didn’t.   
  


“Fuck, Ginny, this feels amazing. But I feel bad. I want you to feel good.”

She broke the vacuum seal she had just formed on his dick. Looking up at him, she smiled. “It’s fine, this is just for you, to help. I’m sure you’ll find a way to repay me somehow.” She winked, then started to lean her head back down.   
  


“Ach, wait. Maybe ye could also slide a finger in and get yerself off too? I find it so fucking hot to watch.”

She slid a hand down the waist of the ever present tight black business slacks she had on, looking at him while doing it. He sucked in a breath, feeling himself swell a bit further in the hand she still had wrapped tight around him. He could tell when she’d hit her clit because she let out a sigh, before taking him in her mouth again.   
  


He relaxed back on the pillow. It was sorted. He could now enjoy this mediocre blowjob in peace and not have to worry about returning the favor.   
  


He just hoped tomorrow and all the days ahead went just as according to plan. 


	3. "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women, merely players"-As You Like It, Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day in the Villa!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A major change:  
> The additional girl in here is NOT MC. MC is not coming in on day 1, so I had to make up a whole new Islander to keep numbers working right. Because it's not MC, other things won't remain quite the same as canon.

Bobby stood around a bottle of champagne, in a bucket, the ice melting quickly in the heat of the Spanish sun. He was in the Villa. Ginny had explained when she came to get him that morning, that the guys would be all brought into the Villa, to meet one another. Then the girls would come in to select them, one by one. Bobby had been filmed getting out of a Jeep about half a hour back, at the same time that a very tall, very built, dark skinned man with rows, wearing red swim trunks had jumped out of another Jeep. They filmed Bobby and the man clasping hands, enthusing about how excited they were to be there, before introductions.

"Mate, it's so great to meet you. Bobby here." Bobby said with a grin so big that he felt like his face would split. Fuck, he hoped his cheeks would quit hurting after a day or two of smiling way more than he was used to in real life.

"Ibrahim! I'm fair buzzing to be here." Ibrahim's grip was strong, and he pulled Bobby in for a bro-hug. Bobby mentally catalogued all the details he'd picked up about Ibrahim. He concluded the large man was an athlete, with an athlete's confidence. "I can't wait to see the girls. I bet they're all ace." His voice was deep with a crisp accent.

"Oh mate, I cannae even imagine. They're going to be so lit."

Rahim's brow scrunched a bit. "Just hope they like me after the first day or so." Bobby updated his mental evaluation of Ibrahim. Confident but weirdly insecure too. It was an interesting combination.

Bobby chuckled warmly. "Have ye seen yourself?" He waved his hand down the length of Ibrahim.

"Oh, I know I can get them to look. But, my chat is usually rubbish so only works for first impression."

Bobby slapped him on the back. "Nay, I wouldn't worry. I can help you out."

Ibrahim grinned suddenly, "That'd be ace, thanks!"

"Let's get into this villa and see what it's all about. We stand out here on the driveway nattering much longer and they'll be chasing us away before the next bloke comes along."

The two of them walked into the Villa. Both of them made all the excited, requisite noises about how grand it all was in there. Bobby took off his shoes and jumped up on a bed to give it an experimental bounce or two. Ibrahim looked a little shocked but then laughed at the funny poses Bobby was jumping into. After Bobby climbed off, they had made their way outside to where there was the bottle of champagne chilling, with five glasses circled around. He waved at Ibrahim to do the honors of popping the cork, which the tall man did effortlessly before pouring them both glasses. Bobby downed his quick, it was cheap stuff and definitely not good enough to linger over. It was the champagne equivalent of the beer Jonno always bought.

Ginny had told him to make "show specific" conversation, meaning don't natter on about their pasts or any solitary hobbies, but about why they were there.

"So, Ibrahim, what's your type of woman?"

"Me? Someone who's fit. I want a woman that's driven but not afraid to let loose a bit and be goofy when the time comes. You?"

"Right now? Weel, if there's a redhead, I can say that's what I want off the top of my head. But, I guess in terms of beyond looks, smart, funny, and compassionate top my list. I need all three to keep up with me." He tapped his nose, winking at Ibrahim.

Right then, a young guy with longer, curly brown hair sauntered into the house. He stopped to make a frame with his hands and pointed it in different directions. Ibrahim looked at him in extreme puzzlement. Bobby mentally rolled his eyes. Seeing the character tattoo on his chest, the longer hair, and the Jesus sandals the guy was wearing, he pegged him as one of those "can't be tied down, roam the earth" type guys.

"Oi, mate, over here, we got the champagne." Bobby called out, raising his glass. The guy held his hand frame over Bobby and Ibrahim, paused a moment, then dropping his hands, sauntered the rest of the way over.

"Hello. I'm Rocco."

"Hey, I'm Bobby, that's Ibrahim." they all shook hands in turn. Rocco did some complicated wrist grab type handshake, then proclaimed it was to increase the aura bonding. Ibrahim took a small step backwards with a "whoa, weird" look on his face. Bobby grinned. Rocco's type was actually the easiest to manipulate into doing what you wanted.

"What were ye doing with your hands when you were walking in?"

"Oh," Rocco looked down at his hands. "I do that to make sure that I freeze memories. I believe that all of life can be remembered in its perfection if you just take a moment to make the memory."

Bobby shrugged, grinning wider, yeah, this guy will be easy. He didn't say anything about how he remembered just about anything he wanted to without having to do stupid frame hands.

"So, Rocco, what's your type?"

"Oh, I look for a connection of souls. I don't really have a type. To me, it's more important if we can bond at the soul level and our auras complement one another."

"Mate. Maybe I must be doing something wrong. I just like a fit girl who is fun." Ibrahim muttered.

Bobby elbowed him and turning his face away from Rocco, smiled and dropped a wink at Ibrahim. The tall guy looked a little relieved and smiled back at Bobby. Just then, they heard the door from the Villa opening. A tall, dark haired man strolled out slowly. He didn't look around, he merely spotted the three men already out and walked over to them. Bobby sized him up, observing, right, the shy, brooding, tall, dark and handsome one.

"Hello." he said, reaching for the glass that Ibrahim had already poured out for him, and taking a small sip.

"So, give us the details, mate, name, what type of girl you'd like, all that stuff." Bobby said with a wave of his hands.

"Um. Noah is my name." he paused.

Ibrahim jumped in, "That's Bobby, that's Rocco, and I'm Ibrahim. Nice to meet you."

"More importantly, aye, what are you looking for this summer?" Bobby raised his eyebrows.

"Oh. I'm pretty open to whatever comes my way." Right, Bobby thought, so basically, you'll go for whomever puts the hardest graft in. Also, useful information.

The producers must have been getting impatient to get the girls in because, faster than any of the other pauses and a shorter, blonde man came running from the Villa, his arms up as he ran.

"Oi! What's up mates? Who else is buzzing to be here and see the fit birds they've got lined up?" The guy practically crackled with nervous energy.

The other four men all laughed, and Bobby handed the blonde man a glass of champagne. He tossed it down in one swallow, then grimaced at it. "Fancy stuff. Wonder if they'll just let us have a normal pint now and again this summer."

"Aye, I can't imagine we'll be stuck with this stuff the rest of the season. I'm Bobby." He stuck his hand out for the blonde guy. His grip squeezed hard. Staring at him closer while they shook hands, Bobby sized him up. Gym rat. Probably dealt with all of life's problems by going and lifting heavy things to feel powerful and in control. He sighed to himself, this was the guy he'd have to hit the gym if he wanted to talk to him. Ah well, be something to do to fill the hours.

"Gary! And who are the rest of you blokes?" Gary hooked his thumbs in his swim trunks waistband, leaned back and let out a large belch. Great. He was stuck with an overenthusiastic puppy version of Jonno for the summer.

"I'm Ibrahim, the tall quiet one is Noah and the other one is Rocco." Gary shook hands with each of them.

Ibrahim decided to take the question lead this time.

"So, Gary, what are you looking for in a woman?"

"Ah, I like a woman who goes all out with her looks. Like if she's going to be with me, she needs to put in the effort, you know. But, I also am looking for a woman to settle down with. I want to come out of this with a woman I can take home to my Nan." the way Gary said Nan told Bobby that this was "the other woman" for Gary, and probably wouldn't be the last time they heard about Nan. He felt a fist clench in irritation at the thought of listening to Gary all damn summer. He forced it to relax. Maybe he'd luck out and the guy would get voted off at the end of the first week. Probably not though, most of the contestants like him in the past had lasted for most of the season.

Bobby tuned out as Gary launched into some joke, only to be jolted back by a loud DING.

"Oh, that's me." Noah said as he looked at his phone. A few seconds passed.

"Come on, tell us what it says." Gary panted at Noah's shoulder.

"Apparently, we have to go to the lawn beside the pool, where the heart shapes are and stand there. They're about to send out the girls."

Gary gave a fist pump and bounded off towards the hearts that Bobby could see across the lawn. He grabbed the one that made sure he'd be the first guy each woman saw first as they came down the steps. Bobby filed it away. Every observation could be useful later. Even the ones that annoyed the living fuck out of him. Bobby held back, letting the other guys go in front of him. He wanted to be the last one in the line.

After they were all lined up and a production assistant had directed them all to stare into the camera for a moment, there was a moment of them all just standing there waiting. Then the door opened. A tall, thin, blonde woman walked out, sashaying her hips. She had a mass of curly hair and was wearing a black bikini, her obvious fake tits straining to pop out of the almost too-small top. Gary did a little bounce forward on his heels. "Alright, there?" he called out to her. She twisted a curl around a finger, giggling.

"So, apparently," she waved her phone, "I'm supposed to introduce myself, then have you boys introduce yourselves." she punctuated her words with a little giggle. Bobby figured it was meant to be adorable. He was already bored by her and knew a hour from now the giggles would get on his nerves. He pasted a big smile on his face though. He'd already decided he'd step forward for her, since she was the first one out. He had a way he thought guaranteed she wouldn't pick him. He knew Gary would step forward and she'd probably go for him.

"My name is Hortense. It's a hideous family name. But everyone calls me Teeny, and I absolutely require you guys do too!" she gave them all a cheery smile. Bobby knew if he'd met her at the hospital kitchens, he'd have called her Hortense by accident numerous times. In the Villa though, she'd be Teeny unless it was necessary to call her Hortense. 

Gary nearly leaped forward. "Hi! I'm Gary!"

Noah sketched a tiny salute with his fingers, "Noah.", she smiled at Noah, batting her eyelashes as she scanned his body from head to foot, before shifting her gaze to Ibrahim.

"Ibrahim. Damn, girl, you're a grand slam." she stared blankly at him. He blushed a bit and faltered. "Uh, because you're like a hole in one, a goal, and um, a free throw at once?" Bobby had a weird pang of sympathy for the guy. He definitely would have to help him with his chat.

Bobby could tell she didn't get it, but as her eyes lingered on Ibrahim's abs, she forced herself to giggle, before winking at him. She looked past him at Rocco. Rocco was practically drooling.

"Ma cherie! I am Rocco. You are gorgeous." Her eyes crinkled and she flicked her tongue out briefly, licking her upper lip while giving him the same once over she'd done to Noah and Ibrahim. She shifted her eyes over to Bobby. He'd purposefully scrunched himself down a little. Her eyes just sort of slid over him.

"Hey! I'm like the sweet dessert at the end of a long line of beefcake!" He knew it was a horrible line. He meant for it to be a horrible line. Her nose crinkled a little in distaste before she pasted another smile on her face. Her phone beeped right then and she looked down at it. Then looking up, she put a hand on her hip.

"Alright boys! If any of you fancy me and would like to be partnered up, step forward now." Gary stepped forward, then Ibrahim, Rocco, and sighing to himself and crossing his fingers she'd not pick him, Bobby, stepped forward.

"And why did you step forward?" Bobby tuned out as the other ones blathered on. He had seen her eyes returning to where Noah had stayed back. Most likely she was going to pick him. She was one of those ones that wanted what she shouldn't want, who thought she was the type to take on a challenge. But, to be sure, he figured his best response to why he stepped forward.

"I like a woman who doesn't go over the top with her looks. I don't need that competition standing next to me." he said, with a wink and a laugh. "Just kidding! Pick me and I'll have you laughing all the way to the bedroom." he grinned and licked his lips, while looking her up and down. He knew others would think it was a joke, but she caught his meaning.

"And in it!" Gary chimed in. Fuck, that idjit thought he was a funny guy. Bobby was going to have to try hard not to have words with that bampot.

Teeny turned her head from Bobby with a small look of distaste. Good.

"Hmm. I'm spoilt for choice, but I'd have to say," she paused dramatically, "I know he didn't step forward, but I just have to see what Noah's all about. I pick you, Noah!" she said, finishing by throwing her arms up dramatically before beelining for him and wrapping her arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek before melding herself to him, both looking up for the camera to take a still image of them for the viewers at home. Bobby breathed an inward sigh of relief. Okay, now onto part two of his plan.

The second girl came bustling out of the Villa, the pink tips of her bleached blonde hair bouncing against the dark purple of her complicated swimsuit. Bobby scanned her, taking in the tattoos down her leg. If he hadn't changed up his socials, he'd be sure they'd brought this girl in to match for him. Luckily, stepping forward for the second girl wasn't in his plan. He'd fucked too many girls like this in bathrooms of pubs he'd played to take her very seriously. She probably thought she was some pagan goddess and ready to punch out any girl that looked at her funny. He hoped he didn't look like her type. He couldn't do much about the couple tattoos he also had, but both Gary and Rocco had them so he wasn't too worried on that being her deciding factor. She pulled up, tapping a long black nail against a lip done up in a deep, crimson red.

"The name's Lottie." she pointed at Noah. "I do like the look of you. But, you're already taken. And unlike Teeny here, I won't do that to another girl." smiling a little to herself, she scanned the other boys, then did a twirl. "So, who wants to step forward?" Bobby smirked to himself when Rocco practically tripped over his feet to step forward.

"Great!" she made her way over to Rocco, leaning in and giving him a kiss on each cheek. "Oh my God! I didn't even ask your names!"

Rocco chuckled. "I'm Rocco, darling."

"Excellent." Lottie grabbed onto his hand and they both looked up to give the cameras a chance to get their still.

Bobby tapped his fingers against his thigh.

"Two down!" Gary shouted out. "Don't worry Bobs, I'm sure there's some woman that will take pity on you still."

"Ach, I'm not sweating it at all. I know the funny guy often starts slow, but we always finish last, eh?" he winked at Gary, while scanning his eyes down the emptiness next to the blonde man. Gary caught it and flushed a little but smiled back at Bobby. They were all still playing nice. Bobby's plan was to keep playing nice as long as possible. Part of him wished this was already over, he badly needed a smoke, but not like they'd be cool with him wandering off to do that in the middle of the first coupling.

Heels suddenly clacked loudly down stone pathway leading to the grassy area they were standing on. Bobby looked up to see an Amazon of a woman striding towards them. Her bikini covered in multi-colored triangles, her hair in long braids flung behind her shoulders. Her whole stride said she felt she was in charge, and she would get what she wanted, when she wanted. Any woman that felt a need to project that much confidence and take-charge attitude from the get go was hiding some horrible insecurity. He smirked a little, while looking down at his feet, wiping his expression back to a pleasant smile before looking up.

"Well. I may not be first to the party, but I ain't getting stuck with anyone's leftovers. The name is Hope. Let me look at all you gorgeous men." She traveled down the line, looking at each of them, her eyes lingering on all of them. Bobby grinned at her. He knew she wouldn't pick him. She was going to go for either Ibrahim or Noah. She was super tall, so she'd want a super tall man. She stopped at Noah, her fingertips trailing down his chest.

"Well, just look at you. I want to just be swept up in your arms and carried off into the sunset. What's your name, big guy?" she crooned to Noah. Bobby looked at Noah's face. It looked pretty pleased. It was as he suspected, Noah would go with whomever put in the graft.

"Noah."

"I could just eat you up with a spoon. Now, I know you're already partnered here with Teeny, but this is Love Island, not Friends Island. So, I'm choosing you, Noah."

Teeny's phone beeped. She had already been glaring at Hope but once she read what her phone said, her glare deepened and she hissed, "Thanks a lot, you snake." before stalking off to the bench off to the side of them. Hope ignored her, threading her arm through Noah's for their couple still. Bobby looked at Lottie. He wanted to see if he'd been right about things he suspected. Sure enough, she was also side eying Hope with a small glare. He turned back towards Hope, who had a small, pleased smile on her face. He crossed his fingers briefly next to his leg that he'd not end up with Teeny.

The next girl came sauntering out. She had on a cute little two piece with short sleeves. Probably to hide the fact she had tiny tits. She was the shortest girl yet. She had on cute little horn rim glasses, which to be fair, looked great on her, but Bobby still grimaced a little. Most women that wore glasses for things like social media pictures or to come on reality shows often thought they were significantly smarter than they really were. She was probably a Uni student in some lofty intellectual thing. She stopped in front of them, hands on her hips.

"Well. My name is Marisol. Let me get a look at all of you." she stalked down the line. She stopped at Ibrahim. "Just look at the way you're standing, like you're hiding something. I wonder what it could be." she tapped a light pink nail against her lip before moving down to Gary. "And you definitely are intriguing." She looked him up and down before working all the way down to Bobby. "You're probably the one who thinks he's funny and uses humor as your defense mechanism."

"Moi?" Bobby quipped. "I don't use humor, it uses me, it just fills me up to the brim and sprays everywhere."

"That's what she said!" Gary yelled. They all dissolved into laughter even though Bobby cringed at both the statements in his head. She was okay at picking up the stuff that was obvious to pick up.

Marisol stepped back.

"Alright then, which one of you lovely men would like to step forward for me?"

Immediately, Ibrahim stepped forward. Bobby noticed Rocco seemed about ready to until Lottie's nails dug slightly into his arm.

"So confident. I love it. I'll partner with you. What's your name again?"

"Ibrahim."

"Let's do this then, Ibrahim." she said, coming forward and giving him a small peck on the lips. The tall man looked pleased as he stepped back with her and they both looked up for their stills. Bobby didn't think it would work. She'd get irritated too quickly with his rubbish chat and having to untangle his meaning.

The door slammed open and Bobby widened his eyes as the next girl came out. This was the one he'd have to make his play for. He looked closely at her. She looked about twenty, maybe, with a cute little blue bikini on. Her hair was in a long braid. She stopped, and gasped, her eyes going large. Bobby noted the way she bounced up on her toes, her delicate sandals almost falling off her feet. He sighed. Well, she was a ginger at least.

"O.M.G!" she squealed, "I'm literally speechless. Look at these guys! It's like the first time I went to the stables to pick out a pony."

Lottie piped up from where she had her arm wound around Rocco's waist. "Babes, you need to choose yourself a stallion."

The girl bit her lip.

Bobby spoke up then, knowing she'd appreciate the gesture.

"Lass, why not start with telling us your name first?" he gently asked her, making eye contact. She was posh. Which would make finding a reason to get out of it later just a bit easier.

"Oh, right. I'm Hannah." she waved her hand dramatically. She looked at all the guys and then giggled a little.

"Okay, so this makes me a little bit giddy, but, I'm just going to ask any of the boys that fancy me to step forward."

Bobby side eyed Gary. He was looking down and all around, trying to desperately not make eye contact with Hannah. Bobby felt a thrill. Perfect. He took a large step forward.

"I rate the look of ye, lass. Want to partner up with Captain B. Smooth?" Gary looked up at him and gave him a discreet thumbs up. Now Bobby had points with Gary for letting him have Teeny, points with Hannah for stepping forward, and he noticed Lottie's happy little smile for Hannah, and points with Lottie. Good.

She giggled. "You're my knight in shining armor." She came over and he wrapped her in a warm hug, planting a kiss on the top of her head, before grabbing her hand and looking up for their stills.

Right then, Gary and Teeny's phones beeped. Teeny read it and squealed.

"Gary! I get to couple up with you. This is fantastic, obviously it was meant to be." she said, hurrying over to Gary, but not before throwing darts with her eyes at Hope, who pretended not to see and instead leaned up to whisper in Noah's ear right as Teeny passed by.

Lottie's phone beeped. She read it out.

"Islanders, you are now in the first couples of the season. Enjoy this time to get to know one another."

Hannah looked up.

"That's it? Shouldn't there be like one more person?"

Bobby wrapped an arm around her, "Ah, don't worry about it. Let's just relax and enjoy our first day."

She giggled, and nodded in agreement. As they all walked off to wander about the villa, he unwrapped himself from Hannah's arms and making a quick excuse, wandered off.

Thank fucking Christ that was over. He needed a smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, not a lot happening this chapter. Have to get through some to get to the good stuff. 
> 
> It also ended up taking way longer to write out than I thought, so day 1 gets more than one chapter now.


	4. The Devil can cite Scripture for his purpose--Shakespeare "Merchant of Venice"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Day 1

Ginny had been right about the smoking area. The room had been tiny, with two armchairs. But, Love Island had splurged for actual cigarettes, so Bobby was smoking something that tasted way better than the shitty rollies he and Jonno survived on. He couldn't complain about that. Bobby figured he should probably go find Hannah now and start getting to know her, and making her think she was getting to know him. She looked like a Jane Austen fan. Bobby searched his memory for the two or three of Austen's books he'd read years ago. Pride and Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, and Emma. They weren't his favorites, but they served to pass the time and part of how he'd figured out how to not talk like he was from Glasgow.

He strolled out of the Villa and stood for a brief second to let his eyes get adjusted to the bright sunlight. He noticed Teeny and Gary standing in the kitchen. They were about a millimeter apart and Teeny was running a fingernail up Gary's bicep, and he was smirking at her while he flexed. Bobby watched a moment longer as Gary grabbed Teeny about the waist and pulled her in closer, his hand splayed half on her hip, half on the curve of her ass. She squealed a little and shimmied up his body. He rolled his eyes and kept walking. Right then, he noticed Marisol speeding towards the Villa. He recognized the look she had and smiling, hooked his thumb over his shoulder.

"Up tha' stairs and to the left." he shouted over to her. He smiled to himself at the look of confusion she gave him, before she figured out what he was shouting directions to, giving him a thumbs up before scurrying inside. That was a woman who held herself together with nicotine and caffeine. They couldn't go at the same time to smoke, so he figured she'd been anxiously awaiting his return. He scanned the area around him, finally spotting Hannah sitting super close to Lottie, with Rocco on the other side. Both girls were talking a mile a minute, their hands waving. Bobby observed for a minute, narrating the conversation in his head.

Lottie: Stick with me, we're in this to win it, right? Anyone comes for you, I'll get them. What do you think of Bobby?

Hannah: OMG! He's so cute. I'm excited to be here. Mother didn't think I'd get on here and she's so worried that some chav will soil my innocence, but, I'm just so ready to live my life!

Lottie: As you should be. Get rid of the class system. We're all humans.

Hannah: Oh Lottie, you're so wise.

Just then, Rocco leaned in and said something to both the girls, his hand resting on Lottie's knee. Bobby narrated him too.

Rocco: Girls, the universe meant for you two to meet. We are right here, right now, for a reason. Let me just take a picture of this moment with my hands for a memory.

He laughed to himself. Taking a deep breath, he started walking over to them. As he reached them, the girls shared a burst of insane giggling, Lottie throwing her head back and really reveling in it, Hannah covering her mouth with her hand and stifling herself. Bobby did a spin in place and then falling to one knee, yelled out, "Knight McKenzie reporting for service, my ladies!" This made Hannah giggle harder, her face going a bright red behind her hand. Lottie threw an amused smile at him. Bobby climbed to his feet and threw himself down next to Hannah.

"The heat is killer for this Scotsman. Please tell me you remembered some sunblock, lass?" he said, peering down at Hannah's fair skin.

"Oh trust me, I did. I'm going to have to bathe in it, I'm afraid. A ginger like me can't be too careful."

"Well, now you have a knight at your service. Feel free to request my assistance in rubbing that sun cream into your back." He waggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled again. He was quickly wondering if the girl was fifteen and had lied about her age to get on the show.

She calmed down and clasped her hands beneath her chin. "Thank-you, kind Sir." she said, batting her eyelashes at him. He grinned at her, while inside wishing she'd suddenly be overcome by the urge to just go home.

He looked at Lottie.

"Ye mind if I steal my partner to get to know her a bit? Or are you two still doing some girl nattering?"

Lottie smirked, raising her eyebrows, "Girl nattering? What the hell is that?"

He waved his fingers, "Bonding, girl talk, whatever ye may want it to be."

"No, no, by all means, take your lass away." she said, imitating a Scottish accent as best as she could with her Australian one.

"Ye're grand." Bobby stood up, stretching a hand to Hannah. "Coming?" She was blushing with a silly, moonstruck grin on her face. He wondered how long until he could sneak off for a cigarette. He'd never been one for women that acted like they were still schoolgirls. She grabbed his hand, and he wrapped his fingers around hers, tugging gently until she stood up. He hooked an arm through hers and led her over to the pool. He sat down, helping her ease down. When he reached to help her take off her shoes so she could dip her feet in the pool, she drew them back. He shrugged as he dipped his own feet in the pool, leaning back on his arms and looking over at her. She was sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her.

"So, tell me about yerself. Why Love Island? What are you looking for?" he asked, holding her eyes to make her think he was intently interested in her answer.

She drew a pattern in the fake grass next to her with her index finger.

"I was just tired of the normal. I wanted something different. And, well books, books make you think that love is easy to find, and even through all the turbulence of life, it will survive. I want to believe in that, but it's so, so hard. So, I figured, here on Love Island maybe I could have my own love story." she looked him in the eyes and grinned, "Maybe mine is starting right now."

Jesus fucking Christ.

He laughed softly. "Aye, might be. It's still early days, but ye never know."

"Do you read, Bobby?" he saw the light in her eyes and knew the way he answered this next question could help him win her over.

He sorted through the memories of things he'd read, deciding on the perfect quote to answer her question.

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." He quoted.

"Oh my days! Bobby! You've read Northanger Abbey?"

He grinned. "I've read a fair bit, aye. Only three of hers though."

"She is so, so great! I've read Pride and Prejudice so often, I'm on my third copy."

She definitely seemed a Pride and Prejudice girl, he thought sardonically to himself.

"Oh, she definitely had a way of twisting plots just right to keep ye hooked." Lie. He found Austen brainless drivel made for young girls and old women.

"We should trade top ten lists!"

"Definitely. We have plenty of time to do so."

"So many people think fiction is just all Twilight, which, don't get me wrong, Twilight is entertaining and has its own place but there's so much more to reading!"

Personally, Bobby thought the place for Twilight was being set alight on stage during a performance, which he'd done, but he wouldn't tell her that.

"Ach, I've not read Twilight, so I have nae opinion of it, but ye're right, there's a lot more to books. But, while we're here, on our own, I got a question for you." He grinned at her.

"Oh? What is it?"

"How do you feel about sharing a bed with me tonight? If ye'd like I can sleep out here." he hooked a thumb behind him, towards the daybeds. "But, I'd rather not. I really enjoy having a little spoon at night." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her. Predictably, she broke into blushes and giggles again. His fingers twitched with the urge to get out for a cigarette but he tamped it down.

"I would love to be your little spoon, Bobby!" she got out between nervous giggles.

"Great. Glad that's sorted, then. And lass?" he said as he leaned in closer, bringing his hand up to the side of her face, kissing her lips softly, before sucking her bottom lip in between his teeth lightly, and ending the kiss. She looked thunderstruck for a moment, her breath coming in short little pants.

"And now, I'm glad that's sorted too," he said softly in her ear, "I definitely want more of those later too."

She giggled, hiding her mouth again.

Right then, he heard Lottie yell from the firepit.

"Hey lovebirds, get over here, I have a text!" Bobby heaved an internal sigh of relief. Saved by the bell from having to talk more right this second with this idiot. The producers weren't going to give air time to book discussions. It was all about relationships and drama. 

Hannah jumped up with a squeal and ran over to Lottie. Bobby ambled over more slowly, watching Islanders come out from various spots around the Villa. Teeny was dragging Gary along by his hand. Hope and Noah were walking along, Hope with her arm looped around Noah's waist. She was enthusiastically talking about something, Noah looking down at her with a smile and nodding from time to time. The man was a damn tree, he was so tall. 

After everyone had reached the firepit, they looked at Lottie expectantly. She dramatically paused, holding her phone up in front of her face before loudly announcing.

**Islanders! It's time to get to know each other better. What better way than through a game of Truth and Dare? #truthisthetrulybravechoice #darestellyoualot**

Hope clapped her hands. "This is my game, everyone! I can't wait!" She tossed her hair behind her shoulders and strode towards the production assistant, a young, nerdy looking guy, hurrying towards them with two stacks of cards. Grabbing them from him, Hope walked back to the firepit, before setting them down dramatically on the bench. "I'll go first, shall I?"

"Of course she's going first." Lottie muttered under her breath. Bobby had sat down on the other side of Hannah from Lottie, Teeny on his other side. He leaned over Hannah and said in a low voice, "She's the worst, aye?". Lottie looked at him, and then bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Hope drew a card and in a loud, confident, voice. "I choose dare. And, without further ado! The card says, "Give a fellow Islander a foot rub."" Hope put down the card and looking around, her eyes skipping over all the other guys and landing on Noah. "This Islander still needs to come out of his shell, I choose NOAH!" Noah looked a little startled, then grinned, placing his feet in Hope's lap as she sat on the ground near his feet. She began massaging Noah's feet with long, measured strokes. If she stroked other parts of Noah with that same ease, Bobby figured the man was going to be a lucky guy tonight.

Hannah moaned next to Bobby. He looked over at her. She was staring at Hope and Noah with a look of revulsion.

"Ew. Feet. I don't know if I could touch someone's feet, even after knowing them for a long time."

Bobby leaned over to her and in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, said; "That's horrible news. I was so looking forward to some alone time with our toes." She shrieked and punched his arm.

Noah had his eyes closed and was making a contented hum in the back of his throat.

"Get in there, Hope, he's lovin' it!" Bobby shouted out. Everyone, except Hannah, broke out in laughter. While there was a bit of an uproar, Bobby leaned towards Teeny on his other side.

"It's not fair, innit? You had him first. This is your chance. Get him back." he said in a low voice. Teeny looked at him from the corner of her eye, drawing herself up with a look of determination.

"It's still early days, right? Show him." he said, still speaking low, before tapping his nose with a finger. She nodded at him, a small, smug grin playing across her lips.

Hope finally finished Noah's foot massage, and the guy sat back, looking sleepy and satisfied. She looked around.

"Bobby. You're up. You seem like you'll be game for just about anything."

"Pick dare!" shouted Lottie.

"Oh no," moaned Hannah, "don't pick dare, toes might be involved."

"What? Ye dinnae want me to suck those piggies?"

She made a yuck face. "Please don't pick dare. Please."

"Ladies. I am a grown boy, a man, a man-boy. I think I've got this." He winked at Hannah, with a small smile, as she giggled.

"Hope, a Truth card if you please, my damsel in distress decrees I choose Truth." Hannah flashed him a happy grin. God, why are people so fucking easy? Bobby thought to himself. Hope read off the card.

"Bobby! Tell us an embarrassing story about yourself."

Right, too easy, Bobby thought to himself before launching into some tale about baking a cake in the likeness of his cock for a woman one time. He finished and after most of the Islanders finished laughing themselves out, and Gary threw out some Gary witticisms, Bobby stroked his chin, pretending to think about who he wanted to choose.

"Teeny! She looks like a girl who likes to have a wee bit of fun." He pointed at her, she winked at him, a thank-you for picking her.

Hope made a look like she'd sucked on a lemon. Bobby kept himself from laughing outright. Teeny stood up.

"I'm going to go with dare. No worries, little Hannah, I'll keep all toe shenagigans away from you." Teeny wrinkled her nose as she dismissively said "you". Lottie glared at Teeny. Hannah looked confused.

Hope drew the card. Looking at it, she paused a moment before reading it in a monotone.

"Give an Islander, not your partner, a sexy lap dance. I'd recommend someone other than Noah, he's still recuperating from the first-class foot massage I gave him."

Lottie rolled her eyes. Teeny smirked. She leaned down and whispered in Gary's ear, whatever she said causing him to grow pink. She stood back up and scanned the boys over. She began sashaying in the direction of Rocco. Bobby observed the look of relief on Hope's face and mentally ticked a countdown. 3.2.1...Teeny veered off suddenly towards Noah and sliding both her legs on either side of him, she leaned in, her fake tits rubbing against his chest, before standing back up and swiveling her hips like she was using a Hula-Hoop, before turning around and continuing the gyrations, rubbing her ass down against his crotch. Bobby put his fingers in his lips and wolf-whistled. That seemed to wake Hope up.

"I think that's enough, Teeny. I don't know what the hell you think you're doing." she growled out, leaning her face down towards where Teeny was continuing her dance on Noah. Teeny looked back, eyes wide.

"I don't see a collar on him, Hope darling. Or a ring on either of your fingers. I'm just doing the dare." she smiled, a small, vicious smile.

"You're being a bitch in heat is what you are!" Hope yelled.

Teeny stood up then, to her full height, and crowded in on Hope, who stood her ground. Teeny pointed a finger and almost poked Hope's chest with it.

"Me? That's rich." she began laughing. "I'm a bitch in heat? You ran out of the villa, practically shoved me to the ground and stole my choice. You're probably about a hour away sucking him dry, in more ways than one."

Noah watched both girls, his eyes going back and forth. He slowly stood up.

"Um, ladies?"

Both of them threw their hands up at him, not breaking eye contact. He sat back down.

Hope leaned in closer, so her and Teeny's faces were inches apart.

"Don't accuse me of the things you would do. I'm sure you've already figured out a way to spread those legs wide for Gary over there, you slut. I did what I was supposed to, find the partner I thought best suited to me. Now, all you have to do is respect that."

"I don't have to respect anything that comes out of your mouth, you crazy bitch." Teeny screamed.

All of the Islanders were sitting in stunned silences. No one expected anything like this on day one. Bobby could tell they were about five seconds away from getting physical. While he wouldn't be opposed to watching that, he also knew anyone that got physical would get kicked out. While later, that might work to his advantage, on day one it would just backfire all over him. He jumped up, sliding himself in between the two girls.

"Get out of the way, Bobby." Hope yelled. "This doesn't concern you."

"Oh? It doesn't? It's day one. Whatever you do involves all of us."

Lottie yelled from her seat.

"Damn right."

"So, why don't we all calm down? Ye both have behaved pretty badly today. Just go to your opposing corners and cool the fuck off. Hope, it's day one, we're all still getting to know each other. Respect that. Teeny, don't let yerself get riled up so easily."

Leaning into Hope, he whispered, "Don't let her pull you down. If you find yourself in a physical thing, you'll be kicked off and she wins, aye?" Hope glared at him, but then her face smoothed out. She straightened up. 

"Bobby's right. It's day one. We're supposed to be having fun." she muttered as she walked back and sat down. Teeny leaned down and ran a finger down Noah's chest.

"Maybe later, I'll finish that." she said with a wink at him before sauntering back to sit next to Gary. Hope glared daggers at her but didn't say anything.

Bobby walked back and sat down next to Hannah. She tentatively touched his arm, leaning into him before whispering,

"That was so brave. I don't know if I would be able to break up a fight like that."

He stretched an arm around her. "Nothing brave about it. Sometimes fights just need to be broken up before people do things they'll regret." He squeezed her shoulder.

She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. An uneasy silence fell among the Islanders. Hope didn't seem anxious to reprise her role as Truth or Dare hostess and no one else seemed to know what to do. Just then, a text alert chimed out. Rocco cleared his throat.

"That's me." He picked up his phone and read the text aloud.

**Islanders, it's time to get ready to party! A welcome party for your first night, and get ready to give your new Islander a warm welcome. #bombsaway #yoursummeroflovestartsnow**

Hope gripped Noah's hand, a look of uncertainty on her face. Teeny squealed.

"Yay! A new Islander. Wonder who it'll be??"

Lottie drew herself further, laying her hand on Rocco's knee.

"It's probably another woman, coming in to steal one of our boys."

Hannah gasped. She wrapped her arms around Bobby's chest and squeezed hard.

"But, but, we've just gotten here."

Bobby threw his head back, so that none of the Islanders could see the annoyed look on his face. My God, these women were acting like they'd all been in here a month already. It was so fucking ridiculous.

"Maybe it's a new guy." Ibrahim's voice came softly.

"Right, it could be anything guys," Marisol's voice said. "I think they'll want to see how a man could shake up the dynamics."

Bobby knew she was wrong. These girls were already dramatic as fuck, the producers would want to see if they could get anything more to explode.

His phone dinged right then.

**Bobby. It's time to visit the Beach Hut. Please make your way there as soon as possible.**

He untangled Hannah's arms from around his middle and stood up. 

"Right. That's me, off to the Beach Hut." He pointed at Teeny, then at Hope. "You two, keep yourselves in check, aye? If it is a new woman, you'll want to be united."

With that, he strode off quickly, wanting to get a smoke in before he had to go answer questions about what had just happened.


	5. Ha, ha! What a fool Honesty is, and Trust, his  sworn brother, a very simple gentleman! --Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because as many of us know, even though Fusebox has forgotten, the Beach Hut is one of the best things about Love Island.

Bobby smoked his cigarette in four long drags, before stubbing it out in the ashtray that was sat between the two chairs. After leaving the smoking room, he went down the hall to the door marked "Beach Hut". Ginny had told him there would be a large chair to sit in, then questions would flash up on a screen in the room. It seemed easy enough. He wondered why he was first to come in here after the square go between Teeny and Hope. Maybe because he'd busted them up. Or it's possible they wanted to ask him about Hannah and his kiss. Though, he figured at least two of the other couples had also kissed. Ah well, better to go now and get it out of the way. It'd just be another session of Truth and Lies like the interview was. He decided to inject some "Bobby" humor into his entrance into the beach hut.

Opening the door, he strutted in, like this was a walk up to accept some grand prize. After sitting, he crossed his legs by putting one knee out at a right angle, the ankle resting on the other knee. He then pasted a small, silly grin on his face and propped his chin in his head. He leaned forward and confidentially told the still black screen, "The game is afoot now."

After a moment, white text flashed up on the screen.

**How do you feel about how the first coupling went?**

Bobby tapped his fingers against his face, pretending to think for a moment.

"Weel, it obviously went grand for me. I got a girl who is intelligent and super cute. I do feel a wee bit bad for Teeny however. She seemed to really be buzzing about Noah. But, that's the way the game goes, I guess. It's still early days. It should be fine. I hope." Lie. He thought Hannah was an idiot. He didn't feel bad for Teeny. In fact, he thought the whole situation was amusing.

**Are you feeling a spark with Hannah? Tell us what prompted you to kiss her.**

"It's very early days. But, Hannah seems nice. It was fun to talk books with her. I kissed her because I felt drawn to her. I dinnae know yet whether I'm feeling a spark or not with her. But the lass is sweet, and I did come here to try to get past my whole see every girl as a friend thing." He waved his fingers. Lies. The only truth was that it is still very early days.

**Do you feel like you may end up seeing Hannah as just a friend?**

Bobby knew they were looking for a little bit of drama here.

"Hmm. She does seem a bit full on about the whole romance thing. Like, talking about love stories and all that. While this is Love Island, I dinnae think I can see any person just falling completely head over feet in a few hours. There's a wee part of me that is struggling to not see her as a little sister. But, like I said, it's very early days. I am attracted to her. She's fit and obviously smart as hell. I'll definitely be trying to see if there's a connection there." Lie. Bobby only saw one person as his little sister, and that was his actual little sister. Even though it'd been a few months since he'd gotten to see her, she was on his mind a lot. He put the thought of her away. It was one of the only things in the world that had the power to make him ache with a weird cocktail of loneliness, guilt, and a blinding fury.

**What do you think of Teeny and Hope?**

"Ach, they're both in the wrong. But, they're also both in the right. Hope did what she was supposed to, but maybe a conversation with Teeny would hae been a brill idea. Courtesy can go a long way in this world. Teeny still should get to ken Noah. But, Teeny should hae waited a wee bit longer before making her shift, aye?" Truth. He didn't need to say what he'd done to encourage it all to happen. He was fairly certain that other things dominated the cameras at that moment and his small movements went unnoticed.

**Why did you break up their fight?**

"I cannae stand seeing people fight. It riles me up. I dinnae want either o' them to do something they'd end up living in a world o' regret for. I've broken up my fair share of fights over the years. Kitchens are aggro places." Lie and truth so intertwined it was impossible to separate them here. Bobby didn't mind fights now, in fact, he liked them, either as a bystander or as an active participant. Kitchens weren't that aggro, but he'd gotten in between drunken ijits more than once to keep things going when a fight wouldn't help anything. As he sat, waiting for the next question to pop up, he was overcome with a sudden flash. He was crouched under an old, rickety kitchen table, his body shielding his sister, as she crouched against the wall, her tiny body heaving with scared sobs. He was so in the memory he could smell the old ashtray smell that the whole flat had, could smell the whiskey fumes from the shattered bottle, three feet from them. His ears rang with the echoes of screams that happened years ago, down a long tunnel of shite. He leaned forward, gripping his kneecaps hard enough to feel a little pain. It broke him free from the memory. He imagined his boots kicking it back down that tunnel and slamming and locking the door.

**What's your opinion on Marisol and Ibrahim's pairing?**

Interesting. Bobby figured whomever was coming tonight had expressed interest in one or both of them. He tucked the information away to use later.

"First impressions? Which, we all ken can be dead wrong. I think they will eventually kick off. Ibrahim isn't a big chatter. Marisol is. She wants to examine everything, turn over all the rocks in someone's mind and see what squirms out. Ibrahim just wants to do his own thing without a lot of analysis."

**Thank-you Bobby. You can return to the group now. Crack on ;)**

Bobby tipped a wink at the screen, unfolded himself from the chair and promptly made himself stumble a little on his way out the door, righting himself with arms above his head and a huge grin, before scampering from the room. He hoped he'd been funny enough to be brought in often to offer his opinion. He knew from prior seasons that the public's perception of both the Villa resident themselves, and others around them could be heavily influenced by the Beach Hut.

By the time Bobby left the Beach Hut room and went to the outdoor kitchen to fill his water bottle and check through the cupboards, the outside was empty. All of the Islanders were inside getting ready for the welcome party. "Probably freakin' the feck out, too" Bobby muttered, laughing to himself. He smiled when he saw that Ginny had managed to stock the kitchen area with the ingredients he requested. He'd be able to show off his culinary skills tomorrow, maybe make Hannah breakfast, maybe make some cupcakes for the new person, if he was correct and it was a woman. They responded better to cupcakes overall than the lads did. He'd have to think up some kick-ass protein thing to make for Ibrahim and Gary to impress them. As he was going through the rest of the drawers and memorizing where everything was, Rocco wandered down.

"Hey Rocco! What's up?" Bobby squashed his irritation that the fucker couldn't have waited even five more minutes and now he was going to be forced to chit chat with this New Age hippy asshole.

"I need to restore my balance with a wheatgrass smoothie. I was told before coming in that they'd stock up on it. If there are none, this night will be completely whacked out for me." Rocco started out talking in a smooth, stoned manner but his last couple words betrayed an anxiety to Bobby. He looked closer at the young man, and could see some more telltale signs that Rocco was feeling a little panicked. His fists kept clenching and unclenching and his shoulders were higher towards his earlobes, hunched up.

"Right. Well. You're in luck. There's a large container of the stuff in the cabinet over there." Bobby pointed where he'd just seen it. "Want to make me one, as well?" He figured waiting a bit and only having to tolerate Rocco's company was preferable to heading up to the bedroom where the rest of them were gathered and having to endure Gary's "humor".

"Oh! Sure." Rocco's tension had eased a little as he reached for the blender and set it up, then getting out the wheatgrass.

"What do you do in the real world then?"

"I travel. I constantly am on the search for how to expand my horizons, both emotionally and spiritually. This," Rocco paused to take a mental picture of Bobby, "is just my newest chapter in that quest."

"Does money just magically drop on ye, then?" Bobby cocked an eyebrow and hopped up onto the counter to sit.

"That would be an amazing gift from Gaia, but, unfortunately, I have not been blessed that way. I run a food truck where I specialize in baked goods, mocktails, and smoothies." 

"Yeh? We may have to trade us some recipes then. I work in a kitchen."

"Oh, I don't really follow recipes, I just let the Universe guide my creations."

Bobby brought a hand up to his face to hide his eye roll and scrubbed it down the length of his face. He decided a topic change would be good.

"How's stuff with Lottie going then?"

Rocco paused in his wheatgrass smoothie preparation to contemplate.

"She's way fit. She also believes in the power of the universe and Mother Earth. But, I'm trying to see her with me in my truck, traveling the world, and man, it's just not happening yet."

"Aye? Ye picturing anyone else in that truck of yours?"

"Maybe Marisol. I know she seems super serious, but I feel like if she just received a really good massage, which I happened to learn in a skill trade while visiting LIthuania from a skilled masseuse from Denmark, she'd loosen right up."

Bobby stroked his chin.

"Ye should maybe try to get to know her too then. Keep her as an open option." He would figure that this was what the Marisol Ibrahim question in the Beach Hut was about if Rocco had already been in there, but Bobby knew he'd been the first. It was probably still the bombshell, but this made things interesting as well. "I mean, it is only the first day. While the girls seem kind of full on, there's still plenty of opportunities to pull someone else to the side to have a wee chat, feel out the connection."

Rocco's face lightened a little.

"You're right. You are so right." he turned the blender on right then, Bobby enjoyed the moment of no one talking. Once he was done, he poured some weird looking gloop out into a glass and handed it over to Bobby, before pouring his own.

"Can we take a selfie with our smoothies?" Rocco asked, as they clinked glasses.

"For your memory?"

Rocco barked a short laugh. "Nah, I got some good one already. I mean with our phones to upload for the viewers to see."

"Oh aye, grand idea, let's do it."

They held up their glasses, put their faces close together and grinned widely while taking the selfie.

"Thank-you for speaking with me, Bobby. I feel that fate brought us both out to the kitchen at the same time."

Bobby jumped down from the counter, drained his smoothie, fighting a grimace the whole time. He clapped Rocco on the shoulder.

"Right. Mayhap it did. I'm off to get ready."

Rocco's phone beeped then and he looked down. "And I am off to the Beach Hut."

Bobby waved and headed off in the opposite direction of Rocco. He smirked a bit to himself at the extra seed he'd gotten planted. Lottie didn't seem the type to suffer her partner getting to know other people. He rubbed his hands together, contemplating the possible fireworks that would be coming. In addition to whatever ones the bombshell sparked tonight. He passed Gary and Ibrahim, already dressed for the evening's festivities, Gary in some grungy ripped jeans and a flannel and work boots. Bobby shook his head, wondering who the fuck had told the man that was a good idea. Ibrahim looked more well put together, in a nice polo and blue dress slacks.

"Oi! looking good." he called out to them. He noticed Ibrahim straighten up a bit and figured he could chalk this up as his one selfless deed for the day, making the man feel good about himself.

"You going to the party in your swim trunks, Bobs?" Gary called back, his tone the same one that every full of himself lad has had since the beginning of time while thinking they are funny. Bobby wondered if Shakespeare had ever yelled out to one of his actors still dressed in women's clothing "Oi, heading to the pub like that then, are you?"

_You are a fuckin' bas idiot. Ye'd not sound so cheery if I shoved my elbow into yer eye socket, would ye, aye?_

"You're hilarious mate. Just got done with the Beach Hut. Nae worries though, it'll only take me a fraction of the time to look better than you." Bobby said with a huge grin, acting like what he'd said was all just a big joke.

"Riiiight. Better hurry, before the birds have all their preparations done. We can have some guy time on the lawn while waiting for them."

_I'd rather go a full day with no cigarettes than have lad time with you, asshole._

"Sounds grand. Be down in just a wee bit." Bobby jogged to the bedroom door to get in there and start dressing for the night, when he literally ran into Noah coming out of the door.

"Oof. Hey, sorry, mate. I'm a klutz."

Noah quirked his lips up into what Bobby could pretend was a smile. "Oh, it's alright. Better hurry, Gary's anxious to have some guy chat."

Bobby laughed, "I ken, I've already been summoned."

Noah kept going with no more said. Bobby didn't mind. He wished the rest of them talked less too.

After getting ready, including brushing his teeth and using mouthwash to eradicate the taste of wheatgrass from his mouth, he headed downstairs. He could hear chatter coming from up the stairs where the girls' dressing room was, including some loud shrieks of laughter, but they didn't sound anywhere near done. Bobby wished he had an excuse to linger in the quietness of the bedroom longer, but laying alone on a bed, didn't really get you on the viewers' screens at home. He did look for where his and Hannah's bed was. It was the second from the left. It was a good position. Weirdly, it seemed that at least two of the final four couples tended to have a bed somewhere in the first three of the room. He laid down quick to test the pillows, switching out the one he had with the one on Hannah's side when he figured out he preferred it. 

He reached the kitchen island, where the guys were clustered. Gary grabbed his arm.

"Oi, look, it's some old fashioned lager, they must have been paying attention to what I was saying!" He handed Bobby one, before opening the second can of his own. While the rules stated that there would be limits most nights, on some nights the Islanders were welcome to have a few more than their normal limit. Bobby figured the first night would be an exception. Booze loosened people up and often caused drama to kick off.

Rocco was pacing, in an all blue, flowy clothes type outfit. Bobby was sure if he asked him, he'd talk about the energy of the sky manifesting in his clothes or some shite like that.

"Rocco. Mate. What's up?"

"What is taking those women so long?" the young man almost whined, "How am I supposed to keep trying to form a connection with Ma...my partner if they stay up in the dressing room all night?"

Bobby laughed a little. "Rocco, no worries, aye? They'll be down. They won't let us off to bed until we've all had some time to properly mingle, meet the new Islander, mingle some more. It'll be hours yet."

"Right." Rocco straightened out his shirt. Then grabbed a beer, opened it and downed it in three long swallows. Bobby remembered hearing he was an Irishman, figured, they rivaled only the Scots on their ability to inhale booze.

"So! Lads. Tell me. What do we think of our couples so far?" Gary tried to come off sounding detached, but Bobby could hear the excitement. He must be wanting to brag about Teeny.

"Hannah's ace. She's really here for love. It's refreshing, to know without a doubt that someone is nae here just to win money or Instagram influencer deals."

Rocco frowned. "Shouldn't we all be here for love? On the epic quest to find the one for us?"

"Aye, you'd think it. But, every summer past, when you watch, there's always a couple people you feel as if they dinnae want love, just money. It's nice that I can relax and ken Hannah is nae one of those."

Rocco's face cleared. "Oh right. I think this summer we are all here for the right reasons."

"Most likely." Bobby thought to himself, if the right reason is fifty thousand pounds, then aye, A' 'ere fur th' richt reasons.

"Teeny is most definitely here for a good time, and maybe love." Gary barked a laugh. He sketched a curvy shape with his hands.

There we go, Bobby thought.

"She and I may have," Gary held up a finger, "MAY have done some big bits today."

Ibrahim choked on his drink. "Where the hell did you manage that?"

"In the kitchen." Gary had a smug grin.

"Gross. We eat there, you know." Noah broke in.

"Kitchen bits, Gary? Really? Ye ken it'll be all over the telly later, aye?"

Gary's face fell a little. "Shit. I hope my Nan likes Teeny, then. Otherwise, I'll have an earful to hear when I get home."

Bobby barked a laugh.

"Mate, stick to under the covers. Or sneak a duvet out to the rooftop terrace if ye want a wee bit of privacy." he wiggled his eyebrows at Gary.

Noah suddenly spoke up.

"Things are," he cleared his throat, "going well with Hope right now. It's nice being with someone so confident. But, I can't lie, Gary, I'll tell you straight out, I may be trying to get to know Teeny as well."

Bobby thought to himself, aye, and whichever lassie grafts th' hardest wull win ye, pal. He nodded at Noah, with a grin.

"That's the spirit. It's day one, no need to get locked down just yet, aye? Ye all are in luck though. Right now, it's only Hannah I'm interested in, other than getting to know the other lasses as mates."

"Ahh, for fuck's sake, man, this is Love Island, not Friend Island."

They all burst out laughing at that, the beer buzz starting to settle in. Right then, Bobby, noticed the girls coming around the corner. He especially noticed how Teeny strutted by Hope, slightly elbowing her "accidentally" to get ahead. So far, this was the most amusing part of his day, watching these two competing over a veritable lump of clay, given how much he spoke at any one time. He hushed the boys' laughter, and nodded at the girls. They all fell quiet, with small welcoming grins on their face. Bobby scanned them, before spotting Hannah and locking his eyes on her. She had on some peach sundress that looked like something his sister had worn as a wee bairn, just made bigger for a grown woman. He stepped forward to greet her, grabbing her hand and twirling her.

"Finally! Ye all made it down here."

"Oh that's sweet, you all were waiting for us!" Hannah (predictably, Bobby thought) giggled.

"Some of us more than others, that guy over there, he comes across chill as fuck, but turns out he sucks at waiting. It's like he's Sebastian in Lala Land" he nodded in the direction of Rocco. Hannah clasped her hands under her chin and gasped.

"I love that movie!"

"Yeh? 'Tis a great one, no doubt." Inside, Bobby could admit he hated the movie and had only watched it in order to be able to bang this hot chick he'd picked up over Tinder. When he got to her house, she insisted they watched it. They did. He fucked her. Then never called her back. But, Hannah was the type of chick to love movie like that.

He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a soft kiss. Her lips parted a little under his, and he took it as the invitation it was and deepened the kiss a little, twirling his tongue gently against her, before releasing the kiss. He dropped his arm, interlacing his fingers with hers.

"Ye look bonny tonight, lass." He leaned down and whispered in her ear. She blushed and smiled sweetly at him. Her hand tightened in his.

Lottie began trading bad pick up lines with Hannah. She said she wished she could ironically say she liked the lines. Bobby figured she liked finding men that she could be smarter than, to help her feel better about herself. If a guy gave one of those stupid lines, she could guarantee she'd be the intellectual giant in the relationship.

He bit his lip to keep from laughing when Teeny threw one out at Noah, and Hope's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Hope then launched into some long winded story about some guy from her past that couldn't take no. Then Gary began some weird ass Catholic joke and right then, Bobby noticed the door from the bedrooms opening.

A statuesque dark haired woman strolled confidently down the walkway to the kitchen area.

"Hello Islanders! Thank-you so much for letting me crash the party." her voice was richly accented, and smooth, it reminded Bobby of dark chocolate. He cocked his head, watching her, as she scanned over all the Islanders. He watched as her eyes lingered on Ibrahim. Bingo. He was right. Hannah's hand squeezed his harder, right before it was yanked from his as Lottie and Teeny both grabbed her by the hands and stepped away from the rest of them.

Gary whistled. Ibrahim muttered, "I know, mate." before they were both bounding over to her. Bobby and Noah followed more slowly behind to greet the new girl.

"My name is Priya." she said, holding her arms open for a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all feedback welcome :) Thanks for reading <3
> 
> And yes, Veritas, if you see a bit of Wes entering the Beach Hut in this chapter, you're not wrong ;)


	6. How now, how now! how go maidenheads? -Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Day 1 is almost over! \o/

Bobby rushed forward to be the first to hug the new girl. He wanted to get one up on Gary, and to make Hannah feel just a wee bit insecure. He wrapped his arms around Priya and squeezed her hard, she had some intoxicating fruity scent coming from her hair and he breathed it in.

"Welcome to ye, lass! Here to join the party, are ye?" he said in a loud and hearty voice, releasing her from the hug and looking over to where the trio of Teeny, Lottie, and Hannah stood. They were staring at Priya with daggers in their eyes. It was a bit like that one movie that a young girl he once knew watched over and over again, Mean Girls. He bit his lip to keep from laughing and dropped a wink at Hannah. She didn't even notice, she was staring at Priya so avidly, her face a rictus of disbelief and insecurity.

Bobby dropped back a bit to come level with Rocco who was waiting his turn to wrap his arms around the new arrival.

"Mate, don't look back now, but I believe Lottie may be watching you with an eagle eye now that competition is here. Might be a bit difficult to get to know Marisol now, aye?"

Rocco's shoulders sagged a bit, and he exhaled.

"I was so happy when Lottie picked me, her tattoos were ultra tantalizing. I felt like there was some story there. But, I don't want to feel like I have to answer for all my movements. It's been like less than a day!" his voice came out sounding low and aggrieved.

"I know it. It's crazy. Listen, I'll do what I can to cover when I can for you and get you a chance to know Marisol."

Rocco looked up, hope blooming in his eyes. "You will?"

"Yeh, it's not an issue. In return, if Hannah asks whenever, you say I have nae told you anything about the new bird other than she's ridiculously fit."

"That's all you have said though." Rocco looked confused.

"Right. But that's the line you stick to nay matter what."

"Oh. Right."

"Good man." Bobby said, squeezing Rocco's elbow, watching Marisol and Hope confidently stride over to greet Priya.

He tuned out until he heard his name being spoken by Priya. He looked up and made eye contact with her, she smiled slowly at him. Marisol smirked, threading her arm through Ibrahim's.

"Priya says you're her type on paper, Bobby."

"I also love the look of this one." Priya said, running a fingertip down Ibrahim's arm. Marisol's face shuttered, her eyes narrowing.

Hm, Priya must love goofy seeming types, Bobby thought to himself. Or, she was picking him as it seemed safer to have a different option than just Marisol's man.

He turned around and saw the trio of mean girls still standing about the firepit, whispering, while shooting stabbing glares over at them.

"What's up with those over there?" Priya asked, moving on from who she had her eye on in a smooth and distracting manner.

"Ah, I believe they're probably just a little nervous." Hope said, threading her fingers through Noah's. She had a relieved air to her. Bobby figured one girl competing for Noah was probably enough for her.

He waved his arm, "Oi, you lot, over here." he shouted at the three of them and they began wending their way over, Hannah's arm locked securely into the crook of Lottie's elbow. Teeny was walking a couple steps ahead, sashaying her hips even more than normal. When they reached them, Bobby wrapped an arm around Hannah's waist. She shot him a relieved, grateful look. He squeezed her closer, his fingertips tracing over the cotton of her dress, pressing lightly against her side. She melted against him.

He leaned down, not listening to the catty comments Priya and Lottie were throwing at each other, just noting their tones, and gently took Hannah's earlobe between his lips, before releasing it and flicking his tongue briefly against the space behind her ear. She shivered, and he pulled her tighter against him.

Speaking softly into her ear, he noticed the gooseflesh breaking out along her arms, "Ye worried, lass?"

She nodded, her eyes large on his. He smiled at her and purposefully didn't say anything reassuring.

"Come, let's go have a bit of chat." he grabbed her hand and began to lead her away. Right as he did, Teeny stepped in front of them. Bobby looked her in the eyes, which with her stilettos, were level with his. She had her hands on her hips, her fingers bunched in such a way that it "accidentally" drew up the silvery material of her almost sheer skirt. 

"Hannah. We should go strategize. Lottie sent me to get you. We can't let this new bitch get any of our men." Teeny hissed towards Hannah.

Bobby kept his grip on her hand, but didn't tighten it. He merely watched Hannah and Teeny. He wanted to see where this went. What would little Hannah choose? Her potential Mr. Darcy, or following the queen bees?

"Well. Um. I'm not sure, Bobby wanted to go have a chat. Right, Bobby?"

He smiled and nodded but didn't give any other signal to help her along.

"Oh forget Bobby for the moment. He'll be there when we're done girl chatting." Teeny's eyes traveled up and down Bobby, her face saying she thought he was punching above his class anyway with any of the girls. Like he'd be so grateful for any attention that some cunt could walk all over him. He locked eyes with hers and narrowed his. Whatever expression he must have had the beginnings of made her blink a couple of times, her look flashing uncertain for a brief second, before she looked back at Hannah and pasted a mock pout on her face.

"Please, Hannah? Lottie and I really, really need you right now. You're so good at thinking things through." her wheedling tone made Bobby suddenly hope Hannah would go so he could go off to have a cigarette. He wished this was an earlier season of the show before all the pansies had complained about the amount of smoking. But, then again, right now, a cigarette was the only break he had from these idiots, so maybe it was better this way.

Hannah loosened her grip from his.

"Bobby, can we talk in just a little bit? Please?" her eyes begged him to understand, to be fine with this, to let her be one of the cool girls for a bit. Bobby plastered an understanding smile on his face.

"Aye, sure. You go on, lass. Be the brains of the operation, eh?" he shot a look at Teeny to see if his shot hit. She scowled at him, and he winked at her. She wanted to act like an idiot, he'd be sure to let her know.

"You're the best!" Hannah cried out in a gleeful tone, leaning up to kiss him on his cheek. He turned his face so that her lips hit his, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her in tight for a moment, drawing out the kiss, deepening it for a few seconds before releasing her, her breath a bit unsteady.

"I'll meet ye in bed then, shall I?" he waggled his eyebrows at her and she, of course, giggled, the blush from the kiss still staining her cheeks. Of course the one he picked and who was the easy mark in here was a giggler, of fucking course.

After smoking his cigarette, and making sure to brush up against Marisol as she was entering as he was leaving, with a calculated stumble and a self-deprecating grin, Bobby hit the shower. He didn't care whatever drama the Mean Girls Council was dreaming up. He'd figure out what he wanted to do about it when it began. Or get Hannah to tell him later about what they said. Right now, he had to figure out if he would be trying to get Hannah to put out. He hoped to fuck she wasn't a virgin. That'd just be a huge mess he wouldn't want to deal with in front of all the other Islanders. He figured she couldn't be though, he doubted a virgin would come onto Love Island with its raunchy reputation.

He figured he should probably try to get it done tonight. There was a certain cachet with being the first on the show to do major bits, and he figured Hope would be staking her claim all over Noah tonight. Also, if they decided to spring another new arrival, this one a man, it'd be better to have already gotten Hannah hooked so she didn't think about turning her head.

He also hadn't had any in a couple of days so he was ready for more. Ginny had just barely scratched his itch. If he was going to have to put up with all these morons all day, every day, while playing the game, he should get something out of it, right?

"Fookin' right, ah'm due a bit of hochmagandy" he muttered to himself as he turned off the shower and reached for his towel. His hand found a thin wrist instead. He clasped it tightly, and with his other hand followed the arm down to the towel that was dangling from fingertips. After grabbing it, he opened his eyes to find Marisol standing there in a pair of maroon shortie pajamas.

"Hello there lass. Ye wanting to get in the shower? Wee bit impatient, no?" he said as he began drying off his top half. He watched her eyes scan down his length, focusing for a few seconds on his cock. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Take a picture, may last longer." he told her when her eyes lingered longer than just a speculative glance. She snapped her eyes back up to him and grinned a slow smile.

"I may have just wanted to see what goods all the boys have to offer," her eyes traveled back downwards, "Hannah is a lucky woman."

He laughed. "I doubt ye came here just to check out the tadger. What can I do for ye, Marisol?" He wrapped the towel around his waist and she looked slightly disappointed. He brought his thumb under her chin and chucked it. "Buck up, lassie, there's a lot more showers you can use to take a keek, aye?" 

She laughed. To be fair, it was a significantly better laugh than Hannah's, but he wouldn't want to be saddled with Marisol. She was a woman who wanted what she wanted and be damned to anyone in her way. Which, he could respect, but he felt like she'd also be the type to justify all her actions and dodge just admitting she just did it to do it.

She ran a fingernail down his chest. "Maybe I just wanted to see how you were doing. I could be avoiding the drama that is set to boil over any time now in the next day. Drama that your partner is letting herself be an active part in. We could avoid it together?" she peeked hopefully up at him.

Christ. Just what he needed. He had to figure out a way to let her down for now without ruining any future chance, just in case.

He smiled warmly at her.

"Wow. That's an excellent ego stroke right there. Ye are a hot and amazing woman, any lad would be buzzin' to get that offer. But, just so happens, I already know someone who has his eye on ye. That's not yer partner." He tapped the side of his nose with his forefinger.

She instantly looked intrigued and took the bait.

"Yes? Who? Tell me Bobby!"

He smirked. "It's not Noah. So, now I've narrowed it down for you. Can't go spilling all my secrets on the first day." He slid past her and left her standing there, her mouth open, watching after him, brow furrowed in concentration.

He reached his bed and pulled out the pj pants that he'd unpacked earlier into the drawers at the foot. No one else was in the bedroom so he dropped the towel and slid the pants on and then climbed into bed. He could get used to these mattresses. Like five hundred times better than the ratty old one he was using at home. The pillows were pure deid brilliant as well. He let out a sigh and felt his body relaxing into the bed.

He must have dozed off because he snapped awake when he felt a hesitant hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to darkness. It must be the time that the producers decided all the Islanders should sleep. He turned towards the hand, and found Hannah looking back at him. Her shortie pajamas were white cotton with little hearts all over them. For fuck's sake, couldn't he have gotten someone with better taste in nightwear. He was going with some stupid cupcake pj pants that he and Jonno had found to increase his "lovable" look. He smiled at her.

"Can I be your little spoon?" Hannah whispered, her hand still laying on his shoulder.

He made a humming noise in his throat, reached for her and after kissing her softly on the lips, whispered in her ear. "In a bit. Need more of those kisses from earlier. Ye okay with that?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded, her eyes gleaming in the dark, a wide smile stretching her cheeks. He ducked his head in and softly traced the tip of his tongue down her neck, before sucking softly on it. Her back arched a little, as she tried to bring herself closer to him. He smiled against her skin. The lass was deid raring to go. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer, so that there was barely any space between them. He kept one arm around her waist and brought the other one around and sliding his fingers under the hem of her shirt, began tracing patterns on her flat stomach with his fingertips.

Bringing his mouth off her neck, he sucked her bottom lip between his, before moving his mouth up and sliding his tongue to meet with hers. She eagerly thrust her tongue against his, inexpertly, and he pushed his harder against hers until it stilled.

His hand slid up further, still tracing patterns, until his palm cupped the bottom of one small tit. He kept kissing her, while rating her kissing down at like a two. He squeezed her tit, before breaking the kiss off, pulling the cover over their heads and tonguing at her nipple. She made a tiny little noise in her throat. He unwrapped the arm behind him and covered her mouth with his. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and lightly flicked his tongue against it. Her muffled cry came a little louder. He brought his hand up and began flicking her other nipple with his fingertip, softly. Hannah wasn't a "pinch them hard" type girl. She wanted romance, in all things, he figured.

He moved his hand and kissed her again. Breaking the kiss, he whispered in her ear, "This alright? Do ye want me to stop? Or do you want more?"

She smiled and moved her hand down his naked chest, sliding it into his waistband, and then sliding her palm over his hardening cock. She looked at him then, her eyes round.

"It's so big, maybe it's going to hurt." she bit her lip.

"Nay. Maybe a bit. Wait, ye have done this before?" he crossed his fingers.

"Yes. Just, not with someone so big." her whisper came out uncertain, even as her hand curled around his cock, giving it a little squeeze.

"Oh, aye, then maybe it might take a moment, but I promise, Hannah, I'll go slow. I just want ye."

She nodded at him and slid her hand down his length and back up.

"Think ye can be quieter? Or do I need to cover your mouth again?"

"I'll try." she said, casting her eyes down.

"Nay worries, just maybe save it for the hideaway, yeh?"

She nodded, grinning at the thought of the Hideaway.

He slid his hands down and slowly slid her pj bottoms off, hooking his fingertips into the sides of her pants too so that they'd all come off at once. After she'd helped to get them all the way down, kicking her leg to shake them off, he slid his hands down her sides, stroking his fingertips from her ribs, all the way down to her upper thighs, then back again. She began rocking her body towards him, her hand still gripped around his cock, stroking it every few seconds, like she had to remind herself to do it.

Bobby thought to himself, it may have been better to take Marisol in the moment. The woman could probably fuck like a hooker on crack. But it wouldn't be worth the damage to his view to the public nor the bad blood between him and Rocco. Shame. He was stuck with an almost virgin. He shrugged to himself. Still, it was like pizza, even the horrible was still pizza.

He slid his fingers along her slit, it was soaked already. Her legs fell more open and she sucked in a deep breath before exploding it from her mouth in a gasp. Sliding two fingers in, he was amused when she began rocking against them almost immediately. For fuck's sake, did the woman never get laid? At least he'd not be at it bloody forever before he could get his. Trailing his tongue down her body, he flicked his tongue against her clit. She grabbed a pillow and bit down on it. He slowly circled it with his tongue, pumping his fingers a little faster inside of her. When he felt her pussy walls began to tighten around his fingers, he pressed his tongue hard against her clit. She came undone, even muffled by a pillow, everyone had to have heard her scream.

Raising himself up, he slid his cock fast into her. Coming down off her orgasm, she barely noticed, until he began pumping into her hard and fast. She gasped, then taking the pillow from her face, whispered, "That hurts, you're going too fast." He slowed down and whispered back into her ear, his hand coming around to lightly stroke her clit while he pumped into her, then held it. He waited until her breathing was speeding up again.

"Shh. I'm just so turned on by ye, I couldn't help it. I dinnae how long I can keep going slow." He drew almost all the way out and then rammed into her hard. She bit her lip and looked at him, he kept lightly teasing her with his finger.

"Ye okay? May I?" he asked her. She nodded again. Bobby drove deep into her, before setting a fast pace, pushing her body down hard into the bed. He had realized, he'd forgotten to put a condom on. He pulled out and laid his head against her neck for a moment.

"You're done?" she whispered, confusion laced through her words.

"Nay. I forgot a damn condom. I'm sorry lass. I just couldn't help it. But now I cannae finish inside of you."

She giggled, and reaching under her pillow, pulled out one of the Love Island condoms.

"Oh bless." he breathed out. Tearing it open, he slid it on quickly and then slid back into her. "It'll not be long now, promise." he said as he began a fast and hard pace. He silently felt himself swell when he saw her wince a little before spreading her legs wider for him. Just as he was nearing orgasm, he heard her say in a small voice.

"Bobby. I think I love you."

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation help:
> 
> http://www.scotranslate.com/  
> https://learngaelic.net/dictionary/index.jsp?abairt=snow&slang=both&wholeword=false


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